"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates, 400 B.C.

After the monster success of 2003's Metalution, the Clarktones will have 

their work cut out for them. Trying to produce an alblum to match the 

multi-platinum success of Metalution, the boys will have to reach deep into

their guts to out-vomit the unout-vomitable. Metalution has been labeled by 

most industry experts as the "Thriller" of Crash Metal.  

The Clarktones have been on a well-deserved break since the conclusion 

of the Metalution tour. They've played only one show in the last 16 months

(the now infamous show at Garo's Pizza, Fayetteville, N.C., on New Year’s Eve 

Dec. 31, 2003. The show was recorded and became a multi-platinum success story 

of its own.) In mid-January, the biggest band in the Crash Metal will return to 

the studio for the first time in three years. Turn it Up, Throw It Up Magazine 

had a chance to sit down with Joe and LV to see how things are going.

TIU: What inspired the idea of the "Garo's" cd?

Joe: Actually, it’s the result of a contractual agreement with Patel 

Promotions (PP) who handle our tours. Even though we own our record company 

[Vomit Records], we allow PP to manage our concert tours. Well, we came up 

one show short on the last tour. LV had an idea to play an acoustic set. I 

hated the idea. You can only get so much distortion and sound out of an 

acoustic guitar. Mark hated it too. LV somehow talked us into it. We made money. 

What can I say?

LV: Joe suggested bringing in guest musicians we worked with in the 

past. We gave some of the proceeds from the show to the fine charity "Dead Beat Dads 

of America." The alblum sales surprised us. We had no idea there would be such a 

demand for it. So, we released it in July. I don't think we ever thought it would 

go to number one.

TIU: It's actually become the best selling live alblum of the last 30 years.

Joe: Really? I didn't know that. LV, why didn't you tell me? Are you hiding some

money from me?

TIU: So, definitely no tour to support the live alblum?

LV: That's ridiculous. Why would you play live to support a live alblum?

Joe: Absolutely. Right now we have been committed to our next studio project.

TIU: How is the new alblum coming?

Joe: At first we became a little consumed with the pressure of a follow up to 

Metalution. But finally we just decided to just go in and crank it up and get 

crazy. That is what we have always done, anyway. It’s our secret formula. 

LV: Joe and I have written some new material we are very excited about. 

The time off has allowed us to get pumped for the new alblum. We believe 

that will turn into energy Clarktones’ fans are going to feel from the 

opening vomit of the new record.

TIU: Any chance of us finding out the title?

Joe: (laughs) No way... mainly because we are unsure ourselves.  

We have it narrowed down to three ideas. But in the end we'll let our 

kids pick it out. You can pick your title and you can pick your nose.

TIU: If you are recording in January, when can we hope to see it hit 

the shelves?

LV: That's the real trick, isn't it? One thing we have learned is 

you don't rush greatness. The alblum will be ready when it is ready. Joe 

and I get very particular about the music and Mark is a perfectionist 

from the engineering end of things. A record company can get very pushy 

about those things, that is why we just finally formed Vomit Records. 

The pressure is off. 

Joe: Our best guess is before 2006. (laughs) But I would think late-spring 

or summer.

TIU: What are some of the song titles on the CD and possible first release?

Joe: Probably "Skidmark" will be our first release. It's the ultimate in 

Crash Metal.

LV: Usually, I like some of the deeper songs you don't hear on the 

radio. "Kill’em With Kindness" promises to get a lot of attention from 

the true Crash Metal crowd. Others are “Survival of the Idiots,” “Digging 

for Gold,” “The Three Face of Stupidity” and “Can You Smell What I’m Saying.” 

TIU: What about a tour? Many fans are afraid that you will become like

The Beatles of Crash Metal and not tour again. 

Joe: Well, we are certainly not The Beatles. We have gone to fewer 

dates in larger venues, but that's what you do when you get a little older 

and have a family. But I don't think we'll ever stop playing live.

LV: We are talking about going somewhere between 10 and 25 dates all over the 

world. It will depend on when the alblum comes out. PP Productions has 

complained a little about the smaller tours, but we don't really care. 

If they don't like it, they can get another band to promote. We love our 

fans and appreciate what they have done for us. But this is a family-oriented 

decision and I think you will notice most of the fans respect that.

TIU: How will the new alblum compare to Metalution?

Joe: Metalution was great, but it's time to get past it. We put our souls into

it, but we got our souls back and are putting it into this alblum. From 

a creative stand-point, we have improved every time we've recorded. I 

think this will be better musically than Metalution. But I don't know if 

the fans will think so. But I don't care. We write for us. There are plenty of 

bands to waste your money on. But, we are definitely better as writers and 

musicians.

LV: Souls or no souls, we are going to vomit. And if we pull this one off. Who 

knows? That could be it for a very long time.

TIU: What do you mean by that?

LV: (laughs)

Joe: (laughs)

Are the Clarktones saying this could be the end? That last comment may 

leave the Crash Metal world on edge for while. But, for now, Nearly Live and 

Unplugged at Garo's Pizza is still in Billboard's top ten. In the 

coming year there will be another mega-alblum from the musical genius of 

the Clark/Autry team. That is sure to be followed by some monster tour. 

So, the fans are guaranteed at least another year or two of Clarktones hits.  

But what then?

copy write 2004 Turn It Up/Throw It Up Magazine